Clive and the rest of the Sick Puppies have received the title and sub-genre for their challenge film. They must make a 3-minute Horror/Comedy called “Snatching Time”. On Saturday, they wrote the script, found costumes, built a set in a pub cellar and now they’re ready to shoot. But time is ticking away…can they complete the film in time?
(Clive's bits are in Times/Rob's bit's are in Courier)
Sunday 30th October
00.30hrs – “ACTION!” Finally we get underway with a long introductory master shot. Hugo stumbles a couple of times and berates himself for not being word perfect with his lines. I take him to one side and manage to get him to relax a little. I decide to split the master into two chunks to give Hugo a chance to feel his way into this. When Hugo gets it, he’s perfect. At the end of his speech, the whole crew applauds.
01.20hrs – Once we’ve got the first three shots, things speed up and we get a momentum going. We’re getting some great stuff and once the actors are in full character, they need little direction. I’m intense and focused - we have to keep things moving!
02.00hrs (now 01:00hrs again) – A stroke of luck! Due to the vagaries of the British calendar, the clocks go back an hour and we gain an extra hour of time. Maybe they should have called it the 49-hour challenge!
03.30hrs – Scott takes a mouthful of fake blood (mint flavour apparently) and we’re all set. I tell Rob to mark it and he brings the clapperboard in.
"Stabbing Dick, take 2."
That's it, everyone collapses in giggles, and I realise I've chosen exactly the wrong point to crack a funny, i.e. when an actor is waiting for his cue with a mouthful of stage blood. I'm sure Scott gets revenge by spitting some of the foul stuff at me when he finally does the take. Soon after, Hugo does the creepy monotone countdown whie Laura tries to escape, and now I can't help but giggle. In fact, the only way to prevent Steve on the furry mike from not having me snorting in the background is for me to not look at Hugo and bite my hand. Even then everyone can see my shoulders shake with the effort of keeping the giggles in.
04.30hrs – Scott is cut free from his chair. The relief is evident in his face. It’s time to shoot our big FX set piece. Amerita sets up the fake torso padded out with sponge and fake blood-filled balloons on his chair. Scott sticks his arm through the gaffer tape sling and the illusion is complete. It’s not going to fool anyone in a wide shot…but in close-up it will.
Hugo stabs the torso and…the knife breaks! This is not a trick knife, yet the blade snaps off at the handle and drops harmlessly to the ground. Everyone laughs and then panics – we don’t have another black handled knife. I surprise myself by being totally calm. I tell Dave to get the green handled knife from upstairs and tape the handle black. That done, we’re ready to go again…
Hugo stabs the torso repeatedly, but the knife isn’t penetrating. We cut some holes in the outer padding and try again. Better, but not good enough. I get Graham to zoom in to the “wound” and call for more blood (this is fake blood type#2 – the bright arterial kind – it looks great wet, but unfortunately dries orange). This time we get it – you can see part of the blood balloons inside, but they look like intestines. Okay…next!
6AM
Laura gets her chance for escape, as Hugo cuts her free. She comes off her chair and staggers off-camera in a wholly convincing way. "That wasn't acting", she says afterwards. "I couldn't feel my legs."
I discuss the next few set-ups with Graham and leave him to finish off the running down the corridors stuff. It’s time for me to drag-up…
With Laura and Scott both free now, it's my turn to get strapped into place, and for Clive to drag up as the lovely Anthea. Amerita reapplies my bruises, now smudged to nothing after a night's filming, and we both reminisce about this lovely thing called sleep that's supposed to take place at this time of day. Out in the corridors, Laura runs around, screaming hysterically while being chased by Graham and Steve with the camera. I'd scream too with those two on my heels ;-)
I change in the gents’ toilet. The dress won’t zip up at the back, but that won’t be in shot. I look in the mirror…it’s not a good look for me. But it’s a good look for Anthea…
06.30hrs – This is confirmed when I make my entrance in costume. “Oh my God!” “That is so wrong-“; “Hah, hah, brilliant.”
Without my glasses I’m nearly blind and I can’t see where I’m swinging my hammer. I don’t want to break the camera – but Graham’s not listening. It‘s hot under the mask and wig and I get angry with him. He gets the point, but everyone else is laughing. I realise that in my current garb my flash of temper looks like a hissy fit.
Clive appears in full glory, and everyone sods off and leaves me tied to a chair to watch him shoot his scene. I contemplate the idea of a power nap, but being gaffer-taped to a haigh stool is not condusive to a restful atmosphere. Especially not with Laura in hysterics next door. I'm in hysterics myself when Clive finally appears. He's a big man, and gold sequins do not suit him.
I finish my acting work without smashing the camera and am led downstairs to visit Rob who’s been left gaffer-taped to a chair. I’m not sure why he’s been taped up so early. Did he annoy someone? (Actually, Clive, I never did get a proper answer to that one…)
7AM
Final scene. I act scared, Hugo gets evil, Laura screams for England. Believe it or not, this is the only way to spend a weekend. We release the actors, do cast and crew shots with me still taped to a stool (I put my gag back in and bug my eyes for the second take. Bet that's the one that gets used). Then a quick few pick-ups, the Sick Puppy logo (the ugliest stuffed toy you've ever seen in full-on MGM lion mode) and spank me bandy, we're done.
07.30hrs – It’s a wrap! I’m tired and try not to think about the day of editing ahead. Taxis are booked, and that’s it for Amerita, Hugo, Scott and Laura. They’ve been fantastic and I’ll see them all at the screening on Monday night – I hope.
Cabs disperse us to train stations. For Clive though, the hardest bit is yet to come, as he has to edit with Graham and do the sound with Steve. My next part in the endeavor comes on Monday morning, when I colour grade the finished article. Now, all I have to do is get home without falling asleep on the train and winding up in Bristol.
I arrive, and am faced with a horrified reception from Clare (Rob's better half) - "What happened to you?" In my exhaustion, I'd forgotten to clean off my make up. I looked like I'd lost a wrestling match with a No. 25 bus. No wonder I was getting funny looks on the train...
Dave is staying at the Pavilion and he and Graham will clear up after us (when they’ve got some shut-eye). Steve will get the DV rushes tapes from me at St. Anne’s Post after 12.00hrs so he can start laying down a rough music & FX track. Rob gets the rest of the day off. If all goes according to plan we will be grading the finished film at Soho Images at 07.00hrs tomorrow.
08.00hrs – Taxi arrives and it’s off to St. Anne’s Post for the editing.
09.00hrs – I arrive at St. Anne’s Post and I’m too tired to think. I make an executive decision to get two hours sleep before I start. I can’t really spare the time, but I will work faster if I’m fresher. I set my alarm for 11.00hrs and lay down on one of St. Anne’s luxurious sofas and…sleep.
10.30hrs – I wake up before the alarm and check the time. It’s 10.30. I decide to make myself some breakfast and a very strong coffee.
11.00hrs – Refreshed, I start digitising the rushes into the Avid Symphony. They look great and I start to think of “Snatching Time” as a potential competition winning film. We’ve shot about fifty minutes of material…
12.00hrs – I start editing. It’s going to be a long day…
13.00hrs – Steve pops in and picks up the rushes. We have a chat about the style of music I want for this (synthy ‘80s gameshow music, heavy on the cheese) and what FX we’ll need. I estimate that the absolute earliest I will finish the edit will be 22.30, but it’s more likely to be midnight. Steve tells me not to worry; he has everything we’ll need at his home studio.
17.00hrs – Graham arrives to bring a fresh pair of eyes to the editing room. He gets some food in and while I eat, he watches the rough cut. It’s nearly six minutes long. Most of his notes on what we can lose chime with mine. In order to successfully complete the challenge and get screened, we need the full duration to be 3 minutes in total. It’s time to get brutal…
22.00hrs – 3 minutes and 35 seconds and that’s without credits. I curse my fatigue-addled brain and force myself to focus again.
Monday 31st October – Halloween
00.00hrs – I phone Steve and tell him it’s going to be a while yet. He tells me to take the time I need, he’ll doze until I phone again.
02.00hrs – 2 minutes and 59 seconds including space for (very short) end credit cards. I’ve done it…with invaluable help from Graham. I’m pleased with the final cut – it moves really fast, almost advert fast. Time to put the title and credits on…
02.30hrs – It’s finished and ready to play out. I set up the playout and…it doesn’t work. There’s no engineering cover at this time of night to help me out. I’m too tired to figure out the problem. I play out to Digi Beta instead of DV. I was going to do this for the grade anyway so I have a tape ready.
I call Steve. We need a plan B…can he take DVD-R? He can – I make the DVD copy.
03.00hrs – We’re out the door. I flag down a taxi on Oxford Street. We’re off to Steve’s home studio for the mix.
04.00hrs – Four hours behind schedule, we arrive at Steve’s house. His home studio is impressive. He takes the video and audio in off the DVD. Oh no – what is that? Somewhere in the dubbing/audio transfer process we’ve picked up some strange pulsing audio noise.
Can we get rid of it? Steve’s answer – “Some of it.” – is not what I want to hear. We don’t have time to go back to St. Anne’s and get another copy. We are stuck with this sound fault. This is my lowest moment. All thought of having a winning film goes out of my mind. Nobody ever gave a prize to a film with bad sound. I’ve been killing myself for this?
I haven’t come this far to be defeated by a technical problem. I ask Steve if he can suggest anything. He suggests that we bury the fault with an almost continuous bed of music. It’s a longshot but it might just work.
06.55hrs – I look at my watch and remember that Rob is going into Soho Images for the grade. No time for that now. I call Rob and apologise for getting him out of bed early for nothing. He’s cool about it. Back to the audio…
My phone buzzes as I bound up the stairs at Picadilly Circus tube. It's Clive.
"Don't rush. We've had problems with the sound. I don't think we'll make it for the grade if we want to get it submitted in time."
And that's it. The deadline is mid-day, and I have work waiting for me. I've come in early to make sure there's time to get the grade done, and now there's no way. I'm disappointed, but we agree we will do the grade at some point.
08.00hrs – Time is running out. Whatever we play out of Steve’s computer will be the screening master. Graham sets up the camera for a playout. The firewire cable doesn’t work. In my frazzled state of mind I’m starting to feel that there’s a technological conspiracy to stop us screening this film. No shops will be open yet, but Graham has got a working cable at home. He calls a taxi. It is the start of rush hour.
09.35hrs – Graham arrives back, just as we’re putting that last few FX cues in. I feel bad for Steve. There’s no time for a proper mix and his music deserves better than this.
We connect up the DV camera to the computer and…it doesn’t recognise it. I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry. Luckily we have another DV camera. We connect it and collectively hold our breath. The computer…says yes. We play out. We check the recording quickly. Sound and pictures are present and correct.
09.55hrs – I hand Graham a wad of notes for the taxi waiting outside. He gets in. It’s up to him to try and deliver the screening tape to the BFI London IMAX cinema before noon. The traffic situation is not good. I offer up a silent prayer…
10.30hrs – I arrive back at St. Anne’s where I now have to do a full working day. Luckily the job I’m doing isn’t client attended. My brain is slow and I just want to sleep, but I mechanically get through the day…
Graham pops in mid-morning, after dropping the film off. We're in. The hard work's paid off, and now all we can do is hope we make the short list and actually get our film up on the very big screen at the IMAX in Waterloo. There'll be a director's cut, which I'll grade and get screened here at Images, whatever else happens. For now, all we can do is wait.
12.30hrs – There’s been no word from Graham. Steve phones me, have I heard? The battery on Graham’s phone died, so he called Steve on a landline to let him know the news. We did it. We got the film in before the deadline expired. Whether they show it or not, we successfully completed the challenge.
19.30hrs – I meet Laura, Rob and Graham for a pre-screening dinner. They’re all excited about the screening and tell me how much they’ve enjoyed the weekend. Nervous tension and caffeine are the only things keeping me awake now…
20.41hrs – We get to BFI London IMAX cinema late. I see Steve. He’s got some bad news, Hugo was here with his partner Jackie, but they had to leave. Hugo is our lead actor - this is not a good omen. Drinks all round and time for another group photo, this time in the creepy white masks that are our costume for this Halloween night.
The screening is delayed; it’ll be 22.00hrs before things get going.
22.00hrs – The screening of the top twenty films starts. The cinema is packed. There didn’t seem to be this many teams when we started. The projection is very murky. As ours has a brighter more garish look we should be okay.
The films are a mixed bunch: some very amateurish, some almost professional. All have a real energy to them and there are some hilarious moments. Despite my nerves and fatigue I find myself enjoying the event.
22.25hrs – “Snatching Time” is screened as part of the top twenty. But…there is a problem. All the other films have been shown almost full screen, ours is projected on only a quarter of the screen. It is also half the volume of the other films. Whoever transferred “Snatching Time” to the screening compilation master has screwed up. The poor projection mutes the audience response, as it is difficult to see and hear what is going on. “Anthea’s” appearance gets a big laugh though…
It’s an anti-climactic end to the challenge, but one in keeping with the catalogue of technical problems we’ve experienced all day. After “Snatching Time” finishes I feel all the air go out of me…I’m extremely tired now.
23.05hrs – The organisers decide to screen the rest of the entrants. The auditorium thins out as people leave to get trains. Most of the Sick Puppies have to leave. It’s just Graham and me left. Some of the following films are very long and very murky. I start drifting in and out of sleep…
Tuesday 1st November
00.15hrs – Finally, the screening ends and the winner is announced. It’s the very first film that was shown, a straight horror film called “Haunted Boneyard”. I shuffle out of the cinema like a George A. Romero zombie.
00.25hrs – I get to Waterloo and find that the last train has left. I get a taxi home. The taxi driver tells me that there was a bomb scare in my local high street yesterday. The news seems surreal, like a horror movie infecting real life.
02.35 – Home and finally…sleep.
Postscript:
So was it all worth it? Having caught up on my sleep and looked at the film again, the answer is a definite YES. Everyone involved enjoyed the challenge and was proud to be a part of it. The screening was a joke, but I did learn one thing from seeing “Snatching Time” projected. The 3-minute cut is too harsh. It works from a story point of view, but comedy needs a bit more room to breathe.
So I’m now re-cutting the film to form “Snatching Time – Director’s Cut.” It also means I can add a couple of deleted scenes and get some visual FX done. Most importantly, Steve can do a proper sound mix. So despite all the trials, difficulties and lack of sleep we will in the end have a really fun short film. It should be ready for a cast & crew screening in 2006 - after that? I’ll be entering it into various film festivals.
Would I do it again? Mmmm, ask me next year…
Epilogue: "Snatching Time - Director's Cut" is complete and will be screening at the Zone Horror Frightfest 2006 in London this August.
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